" Underwear Dust"  
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.  
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the  hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out. 'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?'  
She replied with a snicker, 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!
Ten Resasons To Vote Democrat 
by:  David Letterman 
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.  
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.  
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.  
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.  
#6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.  
#5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.  
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.  
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.  
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.  
… And, the  
#1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.  
"Someday all of these Democrats that got sucked in by Obama are going to be truly regretful when they find out what he has done to them and that he doesn't care a feather or a fig for any of them.  He thinks they are stupid, as most of them well are.  He will only have used them  for fall guys in his evil schemes. When he has finished,  he will kick them all to the curb.......and will most likely call out the water companies to wash them down the sewer.  Stinks doesn't it? 
"Because Of You" 
"Lovliest Night of the Year" 
"Hi Lili Hi Lili Hi Lo" 
Frankie Carle & Orchestra 
Ev & Els 
See you later my ami........