"The Austrian Maid" 
An Austrian maid asks the wife who employs her for a pay raise.  
The wife became very angry about this and decided to talk to her about this raise.  
She asked, “Now Anna, why do you think you should get a pay increase?"  
Anna: “Well, Madam, there are tree reasons why I wunt the increaze.  
The 1st is that I do iron better than you."  
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?” 
Anna: “Your husband he say so.”  
Wife: “Oh yeah?”  
Anna: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”  
Wife: “that's a lie, who said you were a better cook than me?”  
Anna: “Your hozban he did.”  
Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”  
Anna: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”  
Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks,  
“And did my husband say that as well?”  
Anna: “No Madam… The gardener did.”  
(A moment of silence passes...)  
"So, how much do you want?”    
"Jewish Holiday"  
Not feeling well, and being concerned about his immortality, Barack Obama consults with a psychic about the date of his death. 
Closing her eyes and reaching out to the future, she tells the President, “You will die on a Jewish holiday.” 
With much anxiety, Barack asks, “Which holiday?” 
“It really doesn’t matter.” She replies. “Whenever you die, it will be a Jewish holiday.”    
"The Sweetest Of All" 
Foster & Allen 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
You'd look bewildered too if you were me. 
Adieu Ami