"Three Friends" 
Three friends married women from different parts of the world.  
The first man married a Filipino. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.  
The second man married a Thai. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.  
The third man married a girl from Montana. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but, by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates.
"The Meaning Of "Aplomb"  
For my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.  
His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.  
"May I ask you a question, My Lord?" " 
Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship. 
"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on." 
"What word is that?" asked His Lordship. 
"Aplomb," My Lord. 
"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure." 
"Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused." 
"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?" 
"I remember the occasion very well, My Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."  
"Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Wills plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"  
"I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs.  
"While plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."  
"I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief." 
"That evening the hole that the rose made on his thumb was very sore. Kate had to cut up his venison even though it was extremely tender." 
"Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening." 
"And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate inquired of Wills with a loud voice, 
'Darling, does your prick still throb?'  
And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee ? 
'That', Carson, is complete composure, or aplomb.  
"Seems Like Old Times" 
Vaughn Monroe 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
Measuring bathing suits. If they were too 
 short women could be fined.  
 Mother hides face in shame after  
 putting her children up for sale.  
Chicago - 1948  
Patience is the ability to idle your motor,  
when you really feel like stripping your gears. 
Live, love, laugh, and be happy.      
Take care and God Bless.       
   Mother hides face in shame after  
 putting her children up for sale.  
Chicago - 1948