"Indications Of Recession"  
The recession has hit everybody really hard.  
My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail from Capital One.  
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.  
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.  
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of nickels while she danced.  
I saw a Mormon today who had only one wife.  
If the bank returns your cheque marked "Insufficient Funds," you need to call them and ask if they meant you or them.  
McDonald's is selling the ¼-ouncer.  
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .  
Parents in Toronto and Vancouver have fired their nannies and are learning their children's names.  
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!  
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .  
A picture is now only worth 200 words.  
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.  
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
"Amazing Facts"  
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. 
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. 
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.  
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.  
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.  
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.  
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.  
A snail can sleep for three years.  
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.  
Almonds are a member of the peach family.  
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.  
Babies are born without kneecaps.They don't appear until the child  reaches 2 to 6 years of age.  
Butterflies taste with their feet.  
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.  
Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.  
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.  
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.  
If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
"You Meet The Nicest 
People In Your Dreams" 
Fats Waller 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els