"Senior's Texting" 
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. 
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. 
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." 
The husband texted back to her: 
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
"The Deaf Bookkeeper"  
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. 
When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer 'Ask him where the $10 million bucks he embezzled from me is'. The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the money?" 
The bookkeeper signs back: 'I don't know what you are talking about'.  
The attorney tells the Godfather: 'He says he doesn't know what you're talking about'.  
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, 'Ask him again!'  
The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'  
The bookkeeper signs back: 'OK! OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!' 
The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'  
The attorney replies: 'He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger'.
"I Remember You" 
Frank Ifield 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
Valerie Jarrett   
The Top Muslim in the Top Power Seat - Obama's Top Advisior!  
Yes ladies and gentlemen, This is Obama's "top advisor'.  
Seems as if his promise to fundamentally change America is in full swing.  
Had enough yet?  
To Valerie from one and all!