"Senior's Texting" 
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. 
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. 
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." 
The husband texted back to her: 
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
"The Deaf Bookkeeper"  
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of $10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. 
When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer 'Ask him where the $10 million bucks he embezzled from me is'. The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the money?" 
The bookkeeper signs back: 'I don't know what you are talking about'.  
The attorney tells the Godfather: 'He says he doesn't know what you're talking about'.  
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, 'Ask him again!'  
The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'  
The bookkeeper signs back: 'OK! OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!' 
The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'  
The attorney replies: 'He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger'.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"I Remember You" 
by 
Frank Ifield 
(Australian) 
 
 
 
 
 
Designed & Compiled 
by 
Ev & Els 
 
Valerie Jarrett   
The Top Muslim in the Top Power Seat - Obama's Top Advisior!  
Yes ladies and gentlemen, This is Obama's "top advisor'.  
Seems as if his promise to fundamentally change America is in full swing.  
Had enough yet?  
******************** 
 
To Valerie from one and all!