"Another Boat Intercepted Off The Texas Coast"  
The Coast Guard intercepted a boatload of people off the Texas coast today.  
This placed the Coast Guard in an awkward position, as the boat was not heading to the US, but towards Mexico and central America. 
Another surprise finding was the people were white American seniors of retirement age.  
Their claim was that they were trying to get to Central America or Southern Mexico and wanted to return to the US as illegal immigrants. Then they would be entitled to far more benefits than they were receiving as legitimate American retirees. 
It is believed the Coast Guard gave them food, water and fuel and assisted them on their journey. I am booking on the next boat out. Let me know if you want to join me as seats are going fast.  
“We live in a country founded by 
which is now run by  
"Successful Bribe of a Court Juror"  
Mr. Wilson, was a very successful lawyer at getting charges dropped, but in this particular case he decided to bribe a man on his client's jury to hold out for a reduced charge of manslaughter, as opposed to The States charge of first degree murder. The jury was out for five days before they finally returned with a manslaughter verdict. When Mr. Wilson paid the corrupt juror, he questioned if he had a very difficult time to convince the other jurors to see the evidence his way. Sure did, the juror replies, "The other eleven jurors wanted to acquit." 
"Saturday Night Is The Lonliest Night" 
By:  Frankie Carle & Orchestra 
Ev & Els