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By the time you read through this You will understand "Tanjooberrymutts."  
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service. 
Room Service: "Morrin. Roon sirbees."  
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."  
Room Service: "Rye. Roon sirbees . . . Morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?"  
Guest: "Uh . . . Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."  
Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"  
Guest: " . . . What??"  
Room Service: "Ow ulai den? . . . Pryed, boyud , pochd?"  
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry . . . Scrambled, please."  
Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken? Creepse?"  
Guest: "Crisp will be fine."  
Room Service: "Hokay. Ansahn toes?"  
Guest: "What?"  
Room Service: "An toes. Ulaisahn toes?"  
Guest: "I . . . Don't think so."  
Room Service: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"  
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan sahn toes' means."  
Room Service: "Toes! Toes! . . . Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we botter?"  
Guest: "Oh, English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'toast' . . . Fine . . . Yes, an English muffin will be fine."  
Room Service: "We botter?"  
Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."  
Room Service: "Wad?  
Guest: "I mean butter . . . Just put the butter on the side."  
Room Service: "Copy?"  
Guest: "Excuse me?"  
Room Service: "Copy . . . tea . . . meel?"  
Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please . . . And that's everything."  
Room Service: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken, Anglish moppin, we botter on sigh and copy . .  Rye?"  
Guest: "Whatever you say."  
Room Service: "Tanjooberrymutts!"  
Guest: "You're welcome!"  
Remember I said "By the time you read through this You will understand 'Tanjooberrymutts,'" . . . . 
and.....now "you do", don't you? 
"School Fee Increase" 
An English public school was forced to raise its fees. The headmaster, Mr Jackson decided that the best way to raise the extra money was to institute an across the board 6% increase per annum. Unfortunately, when his secretary typed the letter, she missed out a crucial 'n' in the last word, consequently, the letter read thus:  
To Whom,  
Due to increased costs, I have decided reluctantly to raise the school fees by 7% per anum.  
Yours sincerely, 
J.B. Jackson (Headmaster)  
The following month, one concerned parent replied by saying:  
Dear Headmaster,  
I regret your increase in fees, but I would like to continue paying through the nose as before.  
Yours sincerely, 
W.K Elsworth 
For some of you who may not know...... 
per anum (per a´num) [L.] through the anus. per a·num (p?r a'n?m) adv. Through or by way of the anus, as in the administration of medication.
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By: Grady Martin 
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Ev and Els 
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