"A Simple Explanation"  
A mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Pete in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.  
"What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously.  
"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found?  "Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Tim McDurmt in our marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"  
"Come now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."  
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "There now Pete, you see? I told you there must be a simple explanation"!  
"Well what is it?" fumed Pete.  
"She never got your E-mail!"
"English Lesson" 
*This is the Best, Most Interesting English Lesson I have had to date*.  
Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?  
Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?  
And that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense "ate"?  
Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Go home you free-loading, benefit- grabbing, resource-sucking, non-English-speaking assholes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-shagging, raggedy-ass bastards with you."  
Now how weird is that?  
Lead me not into temptation………oh, hell, who am I kidding? 
Come on,  follow me, I know a shortcut!  
"String Along" 
The Ames Brothers - 1952 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
If God's will be thy way, thou shalt be 
showered with many blessings.   
Don't give up when you still have something to give. 
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.