"The Perks Of Aging"  
At the root of every gray hair, there is a dead brain cell.  
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too.  
So..........Don't laugh. It is all true!  
Perks of reaching 60 
Or being over 70  
And heading towards 80 or beyond!  
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.  
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.  
3. No one expects you to run -- Anywhere.  
4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'  
5. People no longer view you as a Hypochondriac.  
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.  
7. Things you buy now will never wear out.  
8. You can eat Supper at 4 PM.  
9. You can live without "sex", but not your glasses.  
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.  
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.  
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.  
13. You sing along with elevator music.  
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.  
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.  
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.  
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends, because they can't remember them either.  
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.  
19. You can't remember who sent you this list. 
*Forward this to everyone you 'can' remember*.
"Moving To Chicago"  
Bob was sitting on the plane waiting to fly to Chicago , when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking in fear.  
"What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked.  
"No, it's not that. I've been transferred to Chicago . The people are crazy there, right? Lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation."  
Bob replied, "I've lived in Chicago all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nic private school. I've worked there for 14 years and never had the slightest trouble."  
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you've lived and worked there all those years and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"  
"I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
"When I Grow To Old 
To Dream" 
Joe Dolan - Irish 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
May God Bless Thee and Thine 
and may you always carry anAngel in your pocket.
It is better to fail at doing something, than to excel at doing nothing.