"ASudden Malfunction"  
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.  
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."  
"I doubt it," declared the man with pride. 
"Tonight was my turn,  I'm the designated decoy."
 
"The Farmer's Interview"  
In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who might have some theories on the matter.  
This “true” interview went as follows:  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?”  
The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Did you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"  
Reporter: (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that's a new piece of information but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”  
Farmer: “Miss, did you know that we milk a cow twice a day?”  
Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?”  
Farmer: “I am getting to the point, Miss.” “Just imagine, if I was playing with your breasts twice a day... and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
The TV interview was never aired.  
 I wonder why? 
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 "We'll Sing In The Sunshine" 
by 
Gale Garnett 
 
 
 
 
Designed & Compiled 
by 
Ev & Els 
 
May God Bless Everyone.
 
Life is a journey. It’s not where you end up, its how you got there. 
TaTa