"Game Show Contestant" 
Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question.  
Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answers are! You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow."  
"Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK."  
Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon."  
After an agonizing 3 hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!"  
"What is it?" she cried excitedly.  
"OK. The question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy?' And the answer is 'The head, the heart, and the penis.' " The couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber.  
At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly.  
So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane and asked the big question.  
"Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds."  
"Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously.  
"Very good. Six seconds." 
"Eh, uh, the heart?"  
"Very good! Four seconds."  
"I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning..."  
"That's close enough!" said the game show host, "Congratulations!"
 
"Old Age Is A Bugger"  
Fred came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.  
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Fred.' Fred was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'  
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Fred was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.  
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'  
'Not bad,' replied Fred the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'  
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'  
'Never,' said Fred.  
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'  
He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.  
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....  
"Fred, wake up! You've sh-t in the bed!"
 
 
 
 
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"Dream A Little Dream" 
Vaughn Monroe & His Orchestra 
 
 
Designed & Compiled 
by 
Ev & Els 
 
 
May your life abound with God's Blessings. 
 
Remember that lifes most simple pleasures are often the best.
      
 
Bye-Bye until next time...... 
God willing and the creek don't rise.