Alphabet 
A is for apple, 
B is for boat,    
That used to be right,  
but now it won't float! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"New Alphabet For Seniors" 
A's for arthritis,  
B's the bad back,  
C's the chest pains, perhaps car-di-ac? 
D is for dental decay and decline,  
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!  
F is for fissures and fluid retention,  
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.  
H is for high blood pressure - I'd rather it low;  
I for incisions with scars you can show.  
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,  
K is for knees that crack when they bend.  
L 's for libido, what happened to sex?  
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.  
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;  
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!  
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, 
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!  
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?  
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.  
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,  
T is for Tinnitus, bells in my ears!  
U is for urinary, troubles with flow,  
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.  
W for worry, now what's going 'round?  
X is for X ray, and what might be found.  
Y for another year I'm left here behind,  
Z is for zest I still have - in my mind! 
Dream on, dream on'.........
 
"Daughters Vibrator" 
A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.  
What are you doing?" she exclaimed.  
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." 
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.  
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed. 
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." 
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. 
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.  
He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law."
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"If IGive My Heart To You" 
Jerry Vale 
 
 
 
 
 
Designed & Compiled 
by
Ev & Els 
 
 
 
 
 
May God bestow upon us all his  
Love and his Blessings.
Do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of. 
Until tomorrow,  take care, stay safe.
Dear God, 
If it be thy will, 
please protect our country, 
from those who seek to destroy it. 
We ask in Jesus name.  
Amen