"Obama And The Plumber"  
Only weeks after leaving office on January 20, 2017, former President Barack Obama discovered a leak under his sink, so he called Troy the Plumber to come out and fix it.  
Troy drove to President Obama's new house, which is located in a very exclusive, gated community near Chicago, where all the residents have a net income of way more than $250,000 per year. Troy arrived and took his tools into the house. He was led to the guest bathroom that contained the leaky pipe under the sink. Troy assessed the problem and told Obama that it was an easy repair & that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asked Troy how much it will cost. Troy checked his rate chart and said, "$9,500."  
"What?! $9,500?!" Obama asked, stunned, "But you said it's an easy repair. Michelle will whip me if I pay a plumber that much!"  
Troy said, "Yes, but what I do is charge those who make more than $250,000 per year a much higher amount so I can fix the plumbing of poorer people for free. This has always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied the Democrat Congress, who passed this philosophy into law. Now all plumbers must do business this way. It's known as the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014'. I'm surprised you haven't heard of it." In spite of that, Obama told Troy there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Troy left. Obama spent the next hour flipping through the phone book calling for another plumber, but he found that all other plumbing businesses in the area have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Troy's price, Obama does nothing and the leak goes un-repaired for several more days. A week later the leak is so bad President Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink.  
Michelle is not happy as she had Oprah and guests arriving the next morning. The bucket filled up quickly and had to be emptied every hour, and there was a risk the room will flood, so Obama called Troy and pleaded with him to return. Troy went back to Obama's house, looked at the leaky pipe, checked his new rate chart and said, "Let's see, this will now cost you $21,000." Obama quickly fired back, "What? A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!"  
Troy explained, "Well, because of the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' a lot of wealthier people are learning how to maintain and take care of their own plumbing, so there are fewer payers in the plumbing exchanges. As a result, the price I have to charge wealthy people like you keeps rising. Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work by those who get it for free has skyrocketed! There's a long waiting list of those who need repairs, but the amount we get doesn't cover our costs, especially paperwork and record-keeping. This unfortunately has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, they're not being replaced, and nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they can't make any money at it. I'm hurting too, all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their 'fair share'. On the other hand, why didn't you buy plumbing insurance last December? If you had bought plumbing insurance available under the 'Affordable Plumbing Act,' all this would have been covered by your policy."  
"You mean I wouldn't have to pay anything to have you fix my plumbing problem?" asks Obama.  
"Well, not exactly," replied Troy. "You would have had to buy the insurance before the deadline, which has passed now. And, because you're rich, you would have had to pay $34,000 in premiums, which would have given you a 'silver' plan, and then, since this would have been your first repair, you would have to pay up to the $21,000 deductible, and anything over that would have a $7,500 co-pay, and then there's the mandatory maintenance program, which is covered up to 17.5%, so there are some costs involved. Nothing is for free."  
"WHAT?!" exclaimed Obama. "Why so much for a puny sink leak?!"  
With a bland look, Troy replied, "Well, paperwork, mostly, like I said. And the internal cost of the program itself. You don't think a program of this complexity and scope can run itself, do you? Besides, there are millions of folks with lower incomes than you, even many in the 'middle class', who qualify for subsidies that people like you must support. That's why they call it the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'! Only people who don't make much money can afford it. If you want affordable plumbing, you'll have to give away most of what you have accumulated and cut your and Michelle's income by about 90%. Then you can qualify to 'get' your 'Fair Share' instead of 'giving' it."  
"But who would pass a crazy act like the 'Affordable Plumbing Act'?!" exclaimed the exasperated Obama.  
After a sigh, Troy replied, "Congress ... because they didn't read it."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
This will help you understand Obamacare .... And here you have it, the 'Affordable Plumbing Act of 2014'. What a marvelous explanation this is, although somebody spent an awful lot of time thinking this one up!
 
"Dad Gets Owned By Mom"  
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father: "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there"?  
The father, surprised, answers. "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions".  
"Onions"?, the son asks.  
"Yes. You see them and they make you cry".  
This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of willys are there"? The mother smiles and says, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree - mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree".  
"A Christmas tree"?, the daughter asks.  
“Yes, dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
"Somewhere My Love" 
Ed Ames - 1968 
 
 
 
   
 
 
 
 
Designed & Compiled 
by 
Ev & Els 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Don't underestimate people. 
They:  
Ofttimes know more than they say.  
Think more than they speak. 
Notice more than you realize. 
 
May God bestow upon us all his Love and His Blessings. 
May he protect us from evil.
 
 
 
         
 
 
 
 
 
 
Dear God, 
If it be thy will, 
please protect our country from 
those who wish to destroy it. 
We ask in Jesus name. 
Amen