"Chemical Plant Fire"  
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.  
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."  
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.  
Soon more fire departments had to be called as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.  
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian Senior Center volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.  
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before.  
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.  
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"  
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da' first thing 've gonna' do is fix da' brakes on dat' fockin' truck!
"Navy Pilot" 
During a commercial airline flight, an experienced Navy pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. 
When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice. Upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help carry the various baby-related items. 
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "That's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!" 
Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said the baby's time spent on the breast would help alleviate pressure in the ears. 
The Navy pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed, "And for all these years, I've been chewing gum."
Fox is cowering down to the president...    
In response to President Obama's complaint that Fox doesn't show enough Black and Hispanic people on their network, Fox has announced today that they will now air, "America's Most Wanted" twice a week.
Over a 12 day period your body generates a whole new set of taste buds. (This process continues until you are in your 70's.) 
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.  
God Bless everyone and  
keep us all safe from harm.  
"Good Hearted Woman" 
Boxcar Willie 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
Dear God, 
If it be thy will, please, 
keep our country safe from those who seek to destroy it. 
We ask in Jesus name. 
I'd tell you a story but its a long tail, and I have 
to mozey on.