Obituary - Common Sense 
This interesting yet sad obituary represents a view often taken by British people when looking at the society that they have helped create. It may also apply in other countries. Let us know. 
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: 
1. Knowing when to come in out of the rain . 
2.Why the early bird gets the worm . 
3.Life isn't always fair . 
4.Maybe it was my fault . 
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. 
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. 
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. 
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. 
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: 
1.I Know My Rights  
2.I Want It Now  
3.Someone Else Is To Blame  
4.I'm A Victim 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Go See If Am I There 
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there 
."Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History Department." 
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look."He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. 
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. 
"You're not there, sir," he reported. 
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head.  
"I would have phoned." 
"An Ounce Of Brain" 
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate. 
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive." 
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a politicians brain is seventy-five thousand dollars." 
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politicians brain? Why on earth is that?" 
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many politicians we would have to kill?"
There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 
Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.  
Auto repair service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, and you'll never go anywhere else.
May God bestow upon each and 
every one of us His Love and His Blessings and may He keep us safe from harm.
Dear God, 
We ask you to protect our country 
from those who seek to destroy it. 
To protect all of its people from the  
graft and corruption that goes on within our Government and to keep us safe 
from the terrorists who have now come across our borders and live amongst us.And please God, let our next President be the "people's choice" and 
not that of the RNC, Congress, The Elitists and/or The Establishment. 
Please stay with us and stand by us
We ask in Jesus name.  
"TwoHearts In  
Three Quarter Time" 
Frankie Carle 
Ev & Els 
At Nancy Reagan's funeral.  Really?