"Ipso Facto"  
My goal for 2015 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.  
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. So, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza. 
How to prepare Tofu:  
1. Throw it in the trash.  
2. Grill some Meat.  
I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.  
I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.  
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.  
Kids today don't know how easy they have it.When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.  
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.  
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school?   Me neither.  
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented....I forgot where I was going with this.  
I love being over 50. I learn something new every day.......and forget 5 others.  
A thief broke into my house last night......He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.  
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: "I know"!  Right?  
I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
The Brave Pirate and His Shirt  
Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly man who showed no fear in facing his enemies.One day, while sailing the seven seas, a lookout spotted a pirate ship and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravo bellowed, ''Bring me my red shirt!'' The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt and whilst wearing the bright red frock Bravo led his men into battle and defeated the pirates.  
Later on that day, the lookout spotted not one, but two pirate ships. 
The captain again called for his red shirt and once again, though the fighting was fierce, they was victorious over the two ships. 
That evening, all the men sat around on the deck recounting the day's triumphs and one of them asked the captain, ''Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?"  
The captain replied, ''If I am wounded in the attack, the shirt will not show my blood and thus, you men will continue to fight, unafraid.'' 
All of the men sat in silence and marveled at the courage of such a manly man as Captain Bravo. 
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirates ships approaching from the horizon.  
The first mate asked, "Shall I bring your red shirt?" 
"No. " Captain Bravo calmly replied, ''Get me my brown pants.''
I thought a thought, but the thoughtI thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much. 
Never take life too seriously. Nobody ever gets out alive anyway. 
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.  
When one door closes another door should open. If it doesn't,  go in through the window.
May God bestow upon us all His Blessings.
Dear God, 
We ask you to protect our country 
from those who seek to destroy it. 
To protect all of its people from the  
graft and corruption that goes on within our Government and to keep us safe 
from the terrorists who have now come across our borders and live amongst us.And please God, let our next President be the "people's choice" and  not that of the RNC, Congress, The Elitists and/or The Establishment. 
Please stay with us and stand by us. 
We ask in Jesus name.  
Mr. Iodiot sure finds a lot of use for that 
middle finger of his.
"As If I Didn't Know" 
Adam Wade 
Designed & Compiled 
Ev & Els 
Bye now,  see you anon.