"The 'M' Word"  
Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians,the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, badgolfers, men/women, blacks/whites,etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about the**Muslims. Well, it's time to level the playing field and be politically incorrect, by including our friends, the **Muslims, on this grandiose list...So.. 
Jeff Foxworthy did his part to include the** Muslims on this list.    
1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living,but morally object tot he use of liquor***You may be a Muslim.  
2. 2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, But can't afford shoes,***You may be a Muslim.  
3. If you have more wives than teeth,***You may be a Muslim.  
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be unclean,***You may be a Muslim.  
5. If you think vests come in two styles, Bullet-proof and suicide, ***You may be a Muslim.  
6. If you can't think of anyone that you haven't declared jihad against,***You may be a Muslim.  
7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing,***You may be a Muslim.  
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses, other than setting off roadside bombs,***You may be a M uslim.  
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, then,***You too may be a Muslim.  
10. If you find this offensive and do not forward it, you are part of   the problem here in America, but, if you delete this,***You are most likely a***Muslim !  (Or a damnable Liberal.)
"How Many Bricks" 
While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. 
"What are they doing?" she asked the tour guide. 
"Each year," he replied with a grin, "the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." 
When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: "So, what's the answer?" 
The guide replied: "One." 
"Mine Isn't Stuck" 
During training exercises, the Lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road when he encountered another car stuck in the mud, with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. 
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside. 
"Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is!"
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.  
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.  
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.  
If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves. 
Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.  
Be Happy!
May God Bless Everyone.
Dear God, 
We ask you to protect our country from 
those who seek to destroy it.  
To protect all of its people from the 
graft and corruption that goes on within 
our Government and to keep us safe from 
the terrorists who have now come across 
our borders and live amongst us. 
Please God stand by our Country,  and please God keep Donald Trump safe.   
We the people and our country need him.  
We pray in Jesus name.  
"Windy And Warm" 
Chet Atkins 
Ev & Els 
Aloha my friends, 
 until next time.