A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?"
"No," he replied. "A whole lot of them begin with 'If elected, I promise ...'"
A couple was touring the capitol in Washington, DC, and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman as the Congressional Chaplain.
The lady asked, "What does the Chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?"
The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at both houses of Congress, then prays for the country!"
A politician was walking home from the county courthouse the evening of Election Day when he came upon a young boy sitting on the curb, bawling his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the politician asked.
"My dad died," the boy replied.
"That's terrible, when did it happen?"
"Five years ago," the boy said.
"Five years ago? †And you are still this upset?"
"It's not that," the boy said.
"It's just that my dad voted today, and he didn't come to see me."
Two old-time political aides are walking through a shabby, overgrown cemetery, writing down names from the headstones. One of the men works very fast, stopping only by upright stones where he can read the names clearly. The other works deliberately, gone from one stone to the next, kneeling down and clearing away the grass and wiping away the grime in order to see the name clearly.
"Why are you spending so much time doing that?" the first man asked.
"I'll tell you," the second man said. "This is a free country with a Constitution and everything. †Each one of these people has as much right as the next to cast his vote."
Christopher Columbus was the first ever-successful politician of the world
because he didnít know where he was going, he didnít know where he was
when he got there, and he did all of it on borrowed money!
Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed
man and stuck a gun †in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this Ė I am a United States congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me "my" money."