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"Redneck Medical Dictionary
Artery……………….The study of paintings. 
Bacteria……………...Back door to a cafeteria. 
Barium………………What doctors do when patients die. 
Benign………………What you be after you be eight 
Cesarean Section……..A neighborhood in Rome. 
CTscan………………Searching for kitty. 
Cauterize……………...Made eye contact with her. 
Colic…………………A sheep dog. 
Coma…………………A punctuation mark. 
D & C………………..Where Washington is. 
Dilate…………………To live long. 
Enema…………………Not a friend. 
Fester…………………..Quicker than someone else. 
Fibula…………………A small lie. 
Genital………………..Non-Jewish person. 
G.I.Series……………World Series of military baseball. 
Hangnail………………What you hang your coat on. 
Impotent………………..Distinguished, well known. 
Labor Pain……………Getting hurt at work. 
Medical Staff…………..A doctor’s cane. 
Morbid………………….A higher offer than I bid. 
Nitrates………………...Cheaper than day rates. 
Node…………………....I knew it. 
Outpatient……………….A person who has fainted. 
Pap Smear………………A fatherhood test. 
Pelvis…………………...Second cousin to Elvis. 
Post Operative………….A letter carrier. 
Recovery Room………..Place to do upholstery. 
Rectum…………………Darn near killed him. 
Secretion………………..Hiding something. 
Seizure………………….Roman emperor. 
Tablet………………….A small table. 
Terminal Illness………Getting sick at the airport. 
Tumor………………….More than one. 
Urine…………………..Opposite of you’re out. 
Varicose………………..Near by / close by.
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"Anytime" 
by 
Grady Martin 
The Slewfoot Five 
 
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As a new, young MD doing his residency, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, ‘I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’ She replied, ‘No, Doctor, but the song you were whistling was,  
‘I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner”.
 
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Designed 
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Compiled 
by 
Ev & Els 
 
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Beware....You are entering the  x-Rated Zone.
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